48 THINGS TO DO ON A LONG AIRPLANE RIDE

48 THINGS TO DO ON A LONG AIRPLANE RIDE
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1. Fart loudly and act shocked, looking around to see who did it

2. Fiddle around with the emercy exit, then ask a fellow passenger if
he has a crowbar.

3. Run down the aisle scrming,"He's got a bomb! He's got a bomb!"

4. Go into the bathroom and make rude bodily noises, then come out looking
refreshed.

5. Tap at the , saying "Looks pretty tough" then ask somone if they
have a bat you could use to test.

6. Disco dance in the aisle

7. Mess up your hair, untuck your shirt, basically look crude, and mingle
with a first class guy as if you were long-lost friends

8. Give someone a coin, saying "Hds, I detonate the bomb. Tails, I
don't"

9. Go into the bathroom, drop your pants, then come out, yelling "We're
out of toilet paper! Stewardess!"

10. Describe your sex life in grt detail to the five-yr-old next to
you

11. Try to ld plane in song "Oh I wish I was an Oscar Myer Weiner"

12. Ld a revolt against the first class passengers

13. Attempt to promote Hinduism among the passengers

14. Ld a bible study session in the back of the plane

15. Start a hot dog stand

16. Stl businessman's laptop, play solitaire on it

17. Pinch the stewardess' butt as she passes

18. During the inflight , ask to share hd with someone

19. When two people kiss in the , belch rl loud

20. When there's any nudity, say "Hey! He/she must be rl cold!"

21. Tell the person next to you your life story, from DNA to that
afternoon

22. With the person next to you, discuss cannabilism among airline crash
passengers on deserted islands

23. Pick your nose and pat the person next to you

24. Show off your Batman underwr.

25. Switch accents and see if anyone notices

26. During the ml, loudly explain that on time you ate shark fin soup
and proceeded to puke all over the airplane, spewing chunks of shark
on the other passengers

27. Snk into the cockpit and hit the warning alarm.

28. Explain how, one time, the plane was crashing and the oxy masks
didn't come out, 'cause they aren't rlly reliable, and that if the
plane was to crash, everyone would die

29. Scratch your butt, then sniff your finger

30. Go into the cockpit, flick on the intercom light, then loudly inquire
as to why the fuel dial says "e"

31. Go into the cockpit, ask the pilot in an obnoxious voice "Why do the
call it the COCKpit?" then snort as if it's the funniest thing in the
world

32. Don't use deoderant, then "accidently" stick your armpit in someone's
face

33. Sneeze, using somebody's sleeve instd of your hand to cover it

34. hilarious, then expect
others to do the same

35. Wr a hairpiece and switch it often, seeing if anyone notices

36. Act like a star

37. Scrm and dive under your st for no apparent rson

38. Ride carry-on luggage down the aisle, yelling "Yeee-ha!"

39. With a desperate look, ask the stewardess where the bathroom is, then
look relieved and say "Nevermind. Do you have any towels?"

40. Jump up and scrm "AAAHHH!! I left the stove on!!"

41. Ask someone for their autograph, pretending that you think they're
Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise (This best when the person looks nothing
like the star in question)

42. Start talking Korn

43. Pretend you're flying the plane

44. With a fellow passenger, Re-enact the disco scene in "Airplane!"

45. Get some rub-on tattoos and a lther jacket, pretend that you belong
to a biker gang

46. Take over the plane with a toy gun

47. Yell to someone "Is it time to hijack the plane yet?" (Note: Do this
when there are stewardesses there)

48. To the person next to you, say "It's amazing that they didn't notice
the grenade in my luggage